


Inner City Pressure

by mileskaane



Category: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, New York City, set during the tv show, set in New York
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:33:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27764545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mileskaane/pseuds/mileskaane
Summary: Jemaine and Bret have a slightly questionable nightly routine. It gets a bit out of hand after a few drinks.
Relationships: Jemaine Clement/Bret McKenzie
Kudos: 13





	Inner City Pressure

**Author's Note:**

> i finished watching the show the other day, saw there's barely any fics then had to write something about these dumbasses. their tv characters r such little cute idiots that something like this just seemed correct xx
> 
> tumblr: mangostv  
> twitter: tofumuse

It’s embarrassing thinking about it at any other time of the day so he only does it in bed. But that’s where it happens, and when he thinks about it, he tends to start it up again.

Him and Jemaine have some new sort of ritual before they go to sleep. It doesn’t happen every night, but it’s becoming more frequent. They’ve started to wank together. 

And it’s not gay! They don’t touch each other, only themselves, and think of girls. They don’t kiss, they don’t even look at each other. And they certainly don’t make noise. Well, they try not to.

This increased frequency has been worrying at Bret a bit. Not that he can really help himself from suggesting it each evening. The worrying bit is how eager Jemaine always seems, instantly agreeing. And if he doesn’t suggest it that night, then Jemaine always will. Sometimes he says no when Jemaine asks, even though he’d rather say yes, and the look on his friends face brings him enough guilt to then suggest it again the next night. It’s probably not healthy.

Tonight was a little different. Their gig had gone somewhat more okay than usual and people in the bar had actually offered to buy them drinks, Murray forcing them to take the drinks in order to appear polite and “like rockstars”. As a result, they ended up back at their apartment sometime after 1am, early for rockstar standards but they really wanted to go to bed, quite tipsy and giggly. 

They started getting undressed for bed right there in front of each other and Bret swallowed when he noticed Jemaine had an  _ erection _ . Before he could even say anything, Jemaine piped up.

“I know it’s late but could we...uh,” he started, pulling his shirt down to try and conceal himself. “Could we do our  _ thing _ ?” 

Bret’s nodding before he even realises, yanking his shirt off and clambering straight into bed to hide the fact he’s now hard too. The slightly sober part of his brain tells him he should have brushed his teeth but he’s not getting out again and letting Jemaine see his cock. Jemaine stumbles slightly heading towards his own bed and giggles at his own drunken clumsiness. All Bret can focus on is the outline of his dick in his boxers. His hand is on his cock the second Jemaine gets under his sheets. It’s surely just the booze making him this pent up, right?

They both get into it and the booze seems to be making them sloppier than usual. Bret’s hyper-aware of every rustle of Jemaine’s sheets, every sharp intake of breath as he twists his wrist just right, every moan Jemaine lets out-

“Q-quiet, man.” Bret chokes out. There’s an  _ agreement _ , they’re not supposed to make noise.

“S-sorry. I forgot.” Jemaine replies, except it comes out awfully whimpery and Bret has to bite his lip so he doesn’t make any noise himself. Precum dribbled down his hand as Jemaine let out yet another gasp. 

Jemaine lets out a tiny whimper that makes Bret’s cock throb in his hand and he wishes the two were unrelated. He risks a glance over at Jemaine, hoping he won’t notice because he doesn’t have his glass on and the sight nearly makes him cum.

He looks so fucked out, so desperate to cum that Bret’s eyes roll back out of sheer arousal.

“C-can I watch?”

The words topple out of Bret’s mouth the second he thinks about saying them. There’s a horrible moment where the room is completely silent.

Jemaine’s eyes flutter open and without even looking at Bret he just whispers “yes.”

His movements resume, and he kicks the sheets off himself to give Bret a better view. Bret actually gasps at the sight, suddenly seeing Jemaine’s flushed and hard cock right there in front of him, his body slightly illuminated by the glare of a streetlight coming through the cracks of their curtains. The urge to suck it fills Bret’s mind and he gets rid of the thought as quickly as it arrived, starting to worry himself with how turned on he is from this.

Regardless, he continues jerking off anyway, unable to keep his eyes off his friend. Jemaine is looking at him now, eyelids heavy and mouth hanging open slightly. Soft noises fall from his mouth as his movements grow sloppier and Bret realises he’s about to watch his best friend cum. He’s almost there too, biting his lip so hard it’s painful to hold back his noises.

A whine leaves Jemaine’s throat as his orgasm hits him, his hips stuttering as he cums across his hairy tummy and over his hand. The sight is absolutely thrilling to Bret and his hand speeds up dramatically, watching Jemaine’s every movement.

As Jemaine comes down from his orgasm, sinking into his bed and gasping for air, Bret’s own orgasm hits him and he lets out a little “hah!” noise as his cock jerks and he cums way harder than anticipated. He catches Jemaine’s eye halfway through and a high pitched whimper he’ll be embarrassed about later escapes him.

He grabs a tissue from the box on the windowsill and shoves it along to Jemaine’s side, hastily trying to clean himself up before they have to have a conversation. 

“Well. Goodnight then.” he says into the almost-darkness.

“G’night Bret.”

Maybe next time he wouldn’t need alcohol in his system to ask if he could watch.


End file.
